Sorry I've been gone a month. It's been more of the same, but different. I've started several drafts, only to backspace them away. They're not ready yet.
Vicky brought home Cast Away last night - the movie where Tom Hanks' character gets stranded on a Pacific Island for years, eventually rescued and plopped into a world that had, by all reason and necessity, given him up for dead.
I excused myself and went to bed last night at about the part where he loses "Wilson", his island companion sculpted from a volleyball that was on the plane, washed ashore with him. I just wasn't ready for the end of the movie yesterday.
Up at 4:50 with Emma this morning, started her Elmo tape and went to the computer. Popped in the DVD, and just started weeping. This movie got to me when it came out, it nails my heart this morning. I think most of us identify with certain actors, Tom Hanks is that guy for me. It's not that I want to be him, but his mannerisms, style, and demeanor resonate with me more than say, George Clooney. I even like Joe and the Volcano, and it stinks.
I'm not sure why, but watching both Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt playing these scenes out, as they should be, almost zombie-like, the shock for him of dropping from the sky into a world jarred along 6 years from where he left it, the shock for her and his friend of reliving his funeral, "letting go" of him only to see him now, here, before them. They go through the motions externally, not really knowing what to feel. Which just projects it all onto me in a way that I don't normally experience. I can hardly bear it when he apologizes to his friend for not being there when his wife died. Standing in the house with the pictures on the refrigerator of the little girl that should have been his. Realizing that the love of his life, his inspiration, had been lost irretrievably. To bend Jackie Gleason, how bittersweet it is.
Fortunately, it's Hollywood, and the character wraps it up nicely for us to all move on. "Surely, tomorrow, the Sun will rise", he says, and the end of the movie fades with him literally looking across Texas to the future.
I guess I needed a good cry - I can count on this one if I need to, again, say in a year or two.
I give it three hankies up. Oooh, hankie, like Tom Hankie. Wow. Stream of consciousness, right here. I could use a cup of coffee.